CRUISING THE EPIPHANY HIGHWAY - Volume 2

by Am Rosen
BUY

Along A Trail Of
  Heart Master
      Musings

Also available at:  Amazon.com and Borders.com

EBook versions can be purchased on IPad, Kindle, Nook and more...

Audio Excerpts
LIVING PROOF (20:51) |

Living Proof

LOVE'S LABYRINTH (22:15) |

Love's Labyrinth

RISE IN LOVE (4:07) |

Rise In Love

NO PAIN (4:22) |

No Pain

SOUL OF HUMANITY (38:34) |

A psych-fiction, meta-evolutionary plausibility novella
of humanity's transiting to its next level of social processing


 Volume Two:

From Enlightened Euphoria To Recreational Reality

 

Table Of Consider This... That... Or Whatever...!

FIVE:            ENLIGHTENMENT GUARANTEED OR
                                                 YOUR DESPERATION BACK
.....................................     1

SIX:               EUPHORIA WITHOUT SIDE EFFECTS...............................................  139

SEVEN:       RECREATIONAL ECSTASY FOR NAKED SOULS...........................  215

EIGHT:        REALITY--- MAKING BELIEVE THAT
                                            YOU'RE NOT MAKING BELIEVE
.....................................  303

 

CRUISING THE EPIPHANY HIGHWAY is a literary compendium of psychological aphorisms, philosophical essays, short stories, poems and meta mind-zingers extracted from over forty years of my collected writings.
        The first volume of CRUISING THE EPIPHANY HIGHWAY plunges the reader from the whimsy of awakening self awareness towards the determination of individualizing clarity, by way of psychologically transcendent perspectives of more inclusive human potential.
        As from that more expansively integrated inclusiveness, Volume Two--- From Enlightened Euphoria To Recreational Reality ---grounds the reader back into functionally integrating their understandings with the playfulness that an individual's working sense of humor requires to satisfactorily enjoy the evolving journey that comprises their life experiences.

Okay...  ---So let's go cruising...!!!

 

Customer Reviews:

  Even more fun! , 01/04/2012
Reviewer: Brett
After reading C.T.E.H. Volume 1, I couldn't wait to get my hands on volume 2. Further brain expansion is made easy by Am as he guides you away from ho-hum reality and into a different state of thought. The broken up sections make it easy to pick up randomly for a thought provoking joy ride that can be as short or long as the reader's desire. These books provide a very unique experience compared to a typical "read," and Am is truly a master of inspiration.


 EXCERPTS:

1)     The following, is a partial excerpt which can be found in Section FIVE:                      ENLIGHTENMENT GUARANTEED OR YOUR DESPERATION BACK                                                                  this excerpt begins on page 78   

The Ego Matrix In Personality Drag
(... continued from ...)

       Think  about  it:  You don't have any problems until you think you do!
       Your physiology may be functioning inadequately to its potential and inappropriately to the situation.  Your body may be full of metabolic obstructions which impair your performance capabilities while riddling you with pain.  Your feelings may be locked into a tragedy of responses that deny you access to the very experiences that could expand your potential and enhance your pleasure.  You may be emotionally fixated in reactive patterns which at every turn cripple your participation in living.  All of these factors may continuously recycle in an escalating ooze of frustration.  You may be on a dead end collision course with entropy's quicksand of exhausted vitality.  But that's just the way it is.  That's just what's going on.  It only becomes a problem when you think about it.  Think about it, that is, in relation to something else.

Let's examine the evolution of a thought.  For example:  The thought of ‘rightness.’
At the Physical Level of consciousness, rightness starts out as the ability to keep the body alive by managing to satisfy the imperative requirements of the biological survival mechanisms.  The next level of rightness comes as the physiology refines and readapts its emphasis around whatever seems to produce the greatest efficiency in satisfying these necessary functions.  Notice that the word ‘seems’ is a highly suspicious perspective.  The body may lock into an orientation for satisfying its needs which, though it may seem valid, can either be far below what procedures it could have adapted, or even downright detrimental to its well being.  Still, rightness becomes whatever has been patterned as the body's physical fixations.

At the Feeling Level of consciousness, rightness jumbles into obtaining pleasure and avoiding pain.  But the pleasure and pain is predicated on the body's adaptation.  Initially the pleasure and pain is a response to the actual state of healthy functioning of the body.  But as the body reorients itself into certain physical posturings, qualities of feeling responses become erroneously distorted adaptations.  Still, rightness becomes whatever has been conditioned as the approach-avoidance range of responses.

The Physical and the Feeling Levels integrate as a recycling matrix through programmed emotional reactions.  Now rightness moves ass backward into the intellect, becoming, at first, whichever mental construct can be arranged to secure the conditioning of the feelings.  As the intellect compounds and complexes, rightness becomes those thoughts which are supportive of the so far fixated emotions.  Until, at the Intellect's Level of consciousness, rightness advances to how skillfully the nervous system can be leveraged into finding ways to assure and congratulate itself about its so far derived outlook.

The irony of all this is, that up till this point of development what we've been describing as rightness has not yet actually come into form as a conscious criteria.  Even with the intellects escalating ability to create symbols about symbols (about symbols...); and to make them seem real by emotively masturbating associative feelings which backwash into compulsive physical actions— even so, all this has so far taken place on a subconscious level.  Obviously we are by now far removed from purity.  All but compromised, innocence hangs by a shred.  The intellect is giddy from exploring its possibilities.  But there is, as yet, neither forethought nor premeditation.  The nervous system is simply enchanted by its own processes.  There is as yet no guilt.  For no matter how mistakenly detrimental any of its actions might turn out to be, there is as yet no one who is really committing them.  There is no center, just a composite shifting, recycling, inadvertent, reactive amoebic meshing of the first Three Levels of consciousness to apparent circumstances.

       Up to this stage of development the intellect has come up with symbols to express everything but itself.  So far realization of a 'self' is a given illusive sense of awareness without definement.  So far the intellect has only been part of the scene.

The more the nervous system orients from the intellect, the more focused and albeit reactively directed the intellect becomes.  Gradually it assumes a response to circumstance which is patterned.  In turn, this repetitive restrictiveness concentrates its responsiveness.  Energies hitherto consumed in trying to relate to survival needs become available for the intellect's own gratification.  When enough associations have been formed to identify the aspects of the environment as objects, the intellect becomes seduced by the possibilities of exercising control, gestalting into an existing subject who has come to identify itself as the supposed one who is wielding such power.

The most primary thought that any intellect can form...  the one that must be formed before any other thought can be conjured forth... the thought that must take precedence over all other thoughts... the thought upon which all other thoughts are based...  This prima facie priory of a thought, this first thought ever reactively commandeered by the feelings, has up till now been an illusive subconscious vagary.  Forged in the alchemical crucible of the intellect, it is the sword of discontinuity.  Once let loose It cleaves the nervous system between being and non being.  It uproots innocence.  It transmutes Grace into a repudiating, castigating monster of pseudo-divine vengeance.

Once this thought consciously recognizes ‘its own existence,’--- 'rightness' comes barreling forth into the world.  But since it is a thought construct of the intellect, it can only be conceived of in relation to the possibility of its opposite.  Rightness comes forth, but only in relation to its opposite, a lack of this designated rightness— wrongness.  Ultimately, the only rightness of this thought is that it exists; the only wrongness is that it does not exist.  No matter what the cost, in proud defiance ‘It’ dares to hold itself up against the reality of existing.  In complete delusion ‘It’ attempts to abstract itself from the overall circumstances of which, after all, it is only a part.  With grim determination ‘It’ enters into competition with everything which it has categorized to be separate from its own self defined identity.  With the abilities ‘It’ can so far claim, it takes dominion over the first Three Levels of consciousness, usurping and controlling all the power and riches  that are of the physical, feeling and intellect— the Earth Kingdoms.  Rooted in the regenerative foundation of sexuality, ‘It’ rears up serpent like, with ‘It's’ forked intellect of duality hissing seductively about the sanctity of self delusion.

Half risen beast / half fallen angel— this caster of shadows is the midwife of personal identity.  ‘It’ goads and seduces the nervous system into self conscious awareness.  ‘It’ wants to be worshiped; instead its very nature creates the turbulence of despair, just so ‘It’ can magically appear as its own savior.  This progenitor of all lies; this thought by which the nervous system self images into existence... —is  the thought ‘I’.

       Once awareness reaches the stage of self consciousness, ‘It’ identifies itself as existing.  ‘It’ now identifies as I’‘I’  identifies itself into being as ‘Am’ This identification of personal existence takes place through the intellect.  In turn, the intellect masturbates conflicting associative emotional patterns of feelings, which in turn exhaustively imbalance the body's vitality.
       There you have it: In the idolatrous idioms of anybody's subjective vernacular--- the 'Ego'!
By whatever interactive combinations of the first Three Levels of consciousness you are capable of manifesting, the Ego is the balancing point of self identification.  Upon what does the Ego balance?  Balancing upon the dynamic interactive reactions of the first Three Levels, the Ego all too often exists in a deteriorating state of dynamic disequilibrium— entropy: `Oh where, oh where has my life force gone; oh where, oh where can ‘I’ be...?'  What we have here is a failure to communicate with anything other than our avoidance of communication.  Everything is held in check; everything is an object floating through a sea of someone's deluded idea of existence, with tension appearing as the advocate of self justification.  I think, therefore I am...  ‘Who’ Am?

How has this sense of personalized subjectivity been formed?  Upon what are the machinations of this Ego based?  So far the vast majority of human egos have been fixated by a run amuck composite of semi-repressed, half hysterical subconscious reactive patterns.
        The Ego is the...
                                                                                      (... continued ...)

 

 

2)     The following, is a partial excerpt which can be found in Section SIX:                                                           EUPHORIA WITHOUT SIDE EFFECTS  
       beginning on page 151
   Into And Through The Meditative Corridor

You're entering meditation’s corridor.  The danger is that you may become trapped in this limbo state of transition.  This happens if you mistakenly confuse the state of mind you have achieved, with the means by which you seemed to obtain it.  If you slavishly worship technique, you're only substituting identification with a spatial energy state for your former intellect-based mental imagery.  Since you do not as yet really understand what you're experiencing, the fear still lingers that you may not be able to maintain what seemed to have been a more elevated perception.  You're an apprentice, learning to balance in the demarcation zone between becoming self-conscious and being a conscious Self.  
The subconscious reactive patterns of the childishly arrested aspects of your awareness still blindly scream forth, tempting you to rationalize validations for your suppositions.  Even so, the incredibly heightened sensibility of this more spiritually adult aspect of your awareness peacefully beckons.  Meanwhile, desperately hanging onto techniques, juggling compensations for dear life, you prayerfully negotiate for a spiritual bingo.
What is your purpose in exploring beyond the reactive subterfuge which normally confines your awareness?  
Balanced between self-delusion and the fulfilled totality of SELF is the true ‘human’  Self.  That Self is centered at the Heart of your awareness.  Only when you can consciously operate from your Center are you in the position to bring peace and harmony to the matrix of the first three levels of perception which comprise Ego, while leveraging those higher levels of energy which create and sustain life as we know it.  By whatever means you jury-rig the psyche into transcendent energy states, without such balance, accessing heightened perception is motivated from, and thereby distorted through, your self-deluding ego— which will inevitably lead you to harm.  At best, with intelligent discipline and good intentions, bastardized transcendent insight will prove only temporary, palliative and inadequate in achieving desired ends.
The purpose of various contemplative and meditative techniques is to enable your consciousness to achieve Self Actualization.  You need to become consciously centered in true awareness of Self before you can redirect the activities of your ego.
  All yogic practices, eastern and western, have one goal— to achieve conscious awareness of the connection of Self (soul) to SELF (Divine Intelligence).  All spiritual disciplines attempt to bring you into Self Awareness.  Whether contemplative, devotional, meditative, magical, in service, in isolation, eastern, western, or a lucky improvised bastardization— the highest of yogic practices is the one which directly enables you to control your mind.  Of course, if you understood how to maintain such control to begin with, all techniques would be unnecessary.
You're looking for the most efficient means to achieve Self Mastery.  That quality of mind is now accessible to you.  However, you must utilize techniques to build the psychic muscle which will enable you to direct these new qualities of energy.

  Upon entering into the beginnings of the meditation’s corridor, you're engulfed in darkness.  But it's not a scary or threatening environment.  It's rather like a comforting womb, very pleasant and tranquil.  Esoterically it has been referred to as the Void of Annihilation.
Up until this point you've always defined your existence by the emotional gymnastics of your Ego.  Now your consciousness has begun expanding beyond the confines of Ego, yet because you're still oriented to looking for yourself as an idea, you feel absent.  Devoid of thought, the projected image of you and the world, which are obviously not a true presence, seem to disappear.  Rather, everything is an absence.  While without thoughts, there are no problems to challenge or threaten you.  So your previous reality seems void, while your awareness floats in a most comfortably seeming absence of the external imaging you have always thought of as ‘light.’
The first things you'll discover in this corridor of meditation is whatever emotional bric-a-brac and debris you deposited there during your previous visits.  Remember:  There have been various times in your life when— through extremes of circumstance, emotional elation, physical exhilaration, mind altering drugs, break-through thoughts, euphoric erotica and/or transcendent techniques —you've managed to have peak(a-boo) experiences which have given you a momentary taste of some energy aspect of Fourth Level perception.
Then, however, your Ego would immediately take the flash-glimpse discoveries made at such a level of experience and try to incorporate them through the particulars of its psycho-cultural orientation.  For the highly disciplined, scientifically mathematical mentality this might mean a breakthrough theorem.  For the emotionally motivated devotee this might mean divine reassurance and inspiration from the idol of their highest thoughts.  For the thrill seeker it might be some far out kablooi orgasm, where, momentarily,  isolation was obliterated and pleasure placated the usual desperation.  Whatever your past experiences may have been, even if you've forgotten or never recognized them as such, you will at first stumble over the energy formations your previous momentary realizations had afforded.

You’ll find yourself free floating in the Void, as the energies you're experiencing suddenly bring to mind a vivid recall of some particular incident in your past when you'd felt like this before.  When this happens, you should focus in on the memory.  This will automatically bring you back into the processes of Ego.  Relax and let your mind spin through all the details of your emotional recall.  By now it should be getting relatively easy for you to discern what has catapulted your awareness into this momentary transcendent state.  In turn, this should make the previous peak catalyzers of your memory easier for you to recall with striking clarity.  Do not daydream further on your memory.  Simply examine your memory.  Then re-direct your awareness again into the Void.  You will find, possibly to your amazement, that this particular memory is no longer a fixation of energy experience in the Void.  By bringing the memory fully to consciousness, you've gained entry to the energy pathways of supra consciousness it represents.  This leaves you free to discover new ways to access that quality of perception without having to revert back to the subconscious pattern you'd formerly established.
You'll keep returning from the Void to Ego consciousness to replay and discharge your memories.  Because these were positive experiences which had transcended your ego, their release is easily facilitated and usually pleasant.  Since we're not dealing with a linear sequence of
episodes, but rather with energy configurations in states of consciousness, do not be overly surprised if in the accessing of a particular energy frequency, you simultaneously trip over several memory recalls, randomly coming from highly divergent times of your life.  When you've discharged these configurations you'll be able to enter into the meditative state of Voidness without being further waylaid by past recall.
You're moving beyond the corridor and into the Void— the center of which is everywhere and the circumference of which is nowhere.  Eventually you'll waste less of your energy denying what you thought you were.  As you divest yourself of patterned fixations, and become less encumbered by the need to consciously rely on technique, the energy potentialities of this territory of creation will become more open for you to explore.  However, before you can functionally operate from such a Self-actualized state, many back and forth motions will take place.
This absence of who you think you are (self) transmutes into the conscious awareness of who you always are (Self).  Your expanding awareness becomes luminescent.  Gradually your ego repolarizes.  Instead of being a haphazard compensation of subconscious reactive patterns, your image of self becomes consciously structured as the most appropriate response to what you're directly experiencing in any given moment.  The outer world reappears in unthinkable clarity, undiluted by the linear, staccato belching of Ego's vague attempts to classify space as existence in time.
Ironically, when you're able to maintain at that level, there's no direct sense of comparison.  The difference becomes more discernible as an after effect, when you again relate to the more normal patterns of your Ego.  To be able to maintain this deep inner state for the equivalent of even five minutes will make quite a difference in your perceptive abilities.
The purpose of the above exercise is to help you safely and efficiently begin to experience Fourth Level awareness.  It is a semi-deep meditative exercise, designed to enable you to acquaint yourself, rather forcefully, with more expanded rates of perception.  At this point, it's most important that you're able to distinguish the quality of Fourth Level experiencing, as compared to the qualities inherent in any of the first three levels.  When you first start to practice this exercise, make sure that you will be undisturbed for at least twenty minutes.  As you become proficient you will be able to sojourn within any time and any place the opportunity seems appropriate.
  Utilizing the above exercise is one way by which you can rapidly develop a conscious access to a trans-conceptual state.  Now let's look at various techniques which can be simply employed to allow such access when your eyes are wide open and you're buzzing about. 
For example: 
                                                                                (... continued ...)

 

3)     The following, is a partial excerpt which can be found in Section SIX:                                                                                    EUPHORIA WITHOUT SIDE EFFECTS  
                                                        beginning on page 168  

                                      Wildcatting In The Psyche

Behind the appearance of all desires, the Meta-Gravity of Love draws us to this as yet to be assuaged need for conscious communion with Spirit.
By being true to yourself... 
           —You come to the Truth of Self!
        
Anything but satisfaction is an inner lie!
Any form of negatively painful emotional turbulence is, at most, nothing more than a defended misunderstanding of how to more appropriately deal with the energies accessible in the moment.

It is all state of mind!

Circumstantial seemingness simply makes us aware of the comfort of our understanding, or the discomfort in our lack of it.  For your consciousness may have become so embroiled in the emotionally fixated toilet training of your sociocultural indoctrination, that you are unable to sort out the truth of your perceptions.  It’s then that you will need some kind of assistance.  How and in what form you seek such help will depend on your developmental disposition and idiosyncratic inclinations.
       Basically all such attempts can be categorized into two primary approaches, which are two interfacing aspects of the same process---
'Yoga' and 'Magic.'

 

Yoga: Through various techniques and mental orientations, Yoga refines your neurobolic, leading to the release of your conscious awareness from all devitalizing energy blocks and all delusive emotional fixations.  Yoga involves the purification of sense distortion, enabling consciousness to directly perceive through the unmitigated ‘essence of awareness.’

As in all mentally coded approaches to spiritual fulfillment, in Yoga there is a trinity of considerations:

 

   (1) Creative Yoga: This is resolution of the ‘karma’ of one’s

                                        subconsciously conditioned neurobolic.  

        This is social consciousness gained through ‘service’ to

                                        the recognized wholeness of apparent creation.

        This is ‘right living’— living in ruthless self honesty; so

                                        that all your actions contribute towards the fulfillment

                                        of your creative potential.

Creating is the Way the Creator brings about Creation.

The Creation may change or de-manifest.  The Creator may awake

                from the dream of manifest presence into the reality of absence.  For

                in reality they are one in the same.

Creating is what sustains this indivisible difference.

 

   (2) Sustaining Yoga: Wherein the truth of ‘soul consciousness’ is not so

                                        much obtained through fulfilling the works of the

                                        Creator, but rather in revering the creative

                                         consciousness which is behind those works.

        This is ‘devotion’  through prayer and supplication. 

                                        This is trying to identify with and maintain what has

                                         come to represent for you the ‘spiritual truth’ of your

                                         being.

Through whatever means is appropriate, Creating becomes the Way

                of Sustaining all that truly is.

The living process is the ongoing potential for fulfillment.  Here you

                 come to completely identify with and devote yourself to Sustaining

                 what has come to most represent to you the ‘essence’ creating life. 

 

(3) Transcendent Yoga: Whereby creativity is neither sustained nor fulfilled. 

                                         Rather, consciousness seeks True Essence by

                                         eliminating what seems to be in the way— the seeker.

         “I am not— therefore I Am”  is the realization that

                                         leads to non realization.  Herein Death, as the tyrant of

                                         termination, is unmasked and transcended.

 If something can come into being, it can also go out of being.

 Something is only sustained against its destruction.

 Creation and its sustainment seem to imply termination and

                 destruction. 

                 But it is not the spirit that can be created, sustained or destroyed.  It is

                 only the image of self that we have birthed into perspective that can

                 be so done away with.

 Spirit is eternal; at least beyond the relevance of any consideration

                 that could panic the human psyche.  So in Transcendent Yoga we

                 embrace and thereby end our seeming relevance, in order to liberate

                 consciousness from the bonds of illusion that have denied

                 consciousness the spiritual awareness of the ever evolving relevancy

                 of creation.


        These three aspects of Yoga tumble into one another:  After all, there is only One of us here!

         All perspectives are a derivative from the same source— that is, from   the Center’ of any consciousness capable of considering them.  East or west, ancient or modern, sanctioned or maverick, our various perspectives can be clothed in any sort of cultural affectation that seems appropriate.

 So, in what form does your Creative Yoga come into aspect?

      Are you role playing into vibrational affiliation as warrior, athlete,

     missionary, kamikaze, statesman, philanthropist, social worker, mysterious

     benefactor, dedicated scientist, representative father figure, non mercenary      prostitute, etc.?

     In what form does your Sustaining Yoga personify spiritual righteousness to

     you?

     Do you emulate animal totems extraordinary; belly-up to the mysterious

     with Mother goddess fertility symbols; mythologize super powered

     pantheons of your own inconsistencies; discipline yourself into a denied

     frenzy of fear controlled necessity as advocated by zealous biblical

     authoritarian figures; worship the letter of some imagined interpretation of

     Divine Law; conjure the joys of deliverance with Krishna / Buddha /

     Jehovah / Christ / Allah; idolize the glamorous; begrudgingly admire the

     esoteric shenanigans of ruthless financiers; eroticize your life force to

     ecstasy; etc.?

     By what means do you choose to facilitate your absence through

     Transcendent Yoga?

     Do you deny pleasure; deprive the body; isolate your humanity; mortify the

     flesh; immerse in sensory deprivation; chemically alter your perception;

     twilight zone between crucifixion and resurrection; do psychic travelogues

     with the Holy Spook as copilot; meditate on absence; look for the looker,

     etc.?

     In one form or another, Yoga is the path of the ‘mystic.’
                                                           (... continued ...)

 

 

4)     The following, is a partial excerpt which can be found in Section SEVEN:                                            RECREATIONAL ECSTASY FOR NAKED SOULS 
                                                                                     beginning on page 288  

                                             Sexual Satisfaction
       ...It is not a man’s balls turning blue (so to speak) because his cup is overflowing with sperm.  The body has ample mechanisms to handle the release of such a buildup.  Besides which, a man should always feel free to ejaculate while enjoying his release to the max.  What is, however, irritating to a man is having his consciousness and the dynamics of his bio-psychic energies limited merely to physical sexuality when there is no actual need to release sperm.  Consider, when there is no real need to release sperm, yet the man feels erotically stimulated, he has reached a point of individualizing his potential which demands that he take conscious control of redirecting his sexual energy.

Acting from these more evolved considerations, a man’s approach to a woman as a lover takes on entirely different sexual tones.  He no longer seeks to conjoin with her because he needs to release physical-sexual tension.  As he individualizes, he no longer depends on her to access the depths of his own feelings.  Since there is nothing to be afraid of, he does what he likes.  Pleasure becomes the ‘Geiger (-counter)’ which enables him to evaluate the quality of his attraction.  While he can appreciate being alone, he can also see that a number of his own assets and potentials have been designed to activate only through sexual relations with a partner (or partners).  As through their physiology, by wielding their feelings, accentuated at will by their intellects, the direct experience of ecstatically rapturous energy becomes accessible.

Acting through her sexuality, from a more encompassing perspective of individuality, a woman is equally qualified to channel and benefit from the conscious transmission of bio-psychic energies through her neurological-dynamics.  Let’s say she’s already been ‘de-conditioned’ from the primitive inhibitions irrationally conditioned into her feelings.  She no longer feels anger and resentment toward men, because she has already gained access to her own power.  She too can come and go as she pleases.  The ‘good and evil’ split has been resolved; she no longer feels the least bit negative about letting go and sexually opening up full throttle.  She’s begun to take conscious control of the responsive qualities of her own feelings, redirecting them at will.  For her too, by design, there are certain aspects of her own conscious matrix which she can only activate through psychosexual communion with man.

No games of one-upmanship power manipulation... no lies, no avoidances.  We have a male and a female, two individuals seeking to erotically play with each other for the maximum of possible benefits they can achieve.  They are now naked together in the privacy of their room.  The preliminaries of biochemical attraction, sociocultural acknowledgment, and psychosexual cuing responses have already taken place.  They are here, now; with nothing else to occupy their attention except satisfying themselves through each other.

There is no mystery to fuel their desires.  Everything has already been openly declared between them.  He is a bit self-conscious about the dependability of his erection.  (“Suppose it doesn’t stay hard...!”) Yet he knows better than to try and stimulate himself with fantasy images.  He is here to experimentally explore the reality of their potentials.  Remaining calm, he allows himself to absorb his attention in her.  If she really wants him... —She’ll call him forth!  She’ll stimulate him to erection; it will be as if his penis is part of her nervous system, and he hardly has a choice but to respond to her desires.  If his performance isn’t aroused, then, obviously, their desires aren’t really connecting in the moment.  He wants to play with their energies.  When she does call him forth, he’ll become virtually indefatigable.

Simply at ease, he feels no need to be more than the moment asks of him.  This takes the pressure off of him.  Relaxing, like an adventurer about to be entertained by his own explorations, he has become the territory though which his awareness will roam.  In her Earth Nature she mirrors his spirit into a conscious aspect for him.  Relaxed and alert, the more he lets go of the considerations of his self-image— focusing into her —the more he comes into himself.  His penis is at a pleasantly irritating half-mast.  Energies are tingling in undulating ripples through his body.

She is moody, not so sure about whether the connection will really take between them; or even if she really wants it to.  In the past she might have pretended; she’d have felt obligated to perform and service him.  But no so anymore... never again!  She no longer has to be sexual.  And if she’s going to be, she’ll settle for nothing less than a fulfilled transport of pleasure.  Gently surprised by her own power, feeling comfortably secure, she finds it pleasant to be with him.  He seems to be rolling and flowing with her, yet making no demands.  It’s a quality of feeling which is very present, very clear; one she usually has been able to share only in camaraderie with other women.  It makes her giggle inside.  She is there to be sexual, yet has no real sense of how that should be played out.  But there is joy in the sharing which attracts and draws her closer to him.

They talk in breathy little words.  They touch and stroke and kiss.  They are not trying to find arousal; rather it is finding them. 
                                                                (... continued ...)